There’s something sacred about the wisdom passed down between mothers, grandmothers, aunties, and daughters. Whether it’s a family recipe, a way of comforting a child, or the quiet courage to keep going when life gets hard, these moments shape us.

In this post, we hear from Winnifred, a mother of seven (7) lovely children plus one bonus child from Kigali, Rwanda, who reflects on what she’s learned from the women before her and how she has chosen to raise the next generation with intention, softness, and strength.

“My mother taught me to survive. I am teaching my kids how to thrive.”

Q&A:

Q: What did your mother or grandmother teach you about motherhood?
A: My grandmother always said, “Children remember how you made them feel more than what you gave them.” That stuck with me. My mother was a provider—she worked hard and ensured we never lacked—but I craved emotional connection. Now, I try to blend both with my kids: provide, protect, and connect. I want them to feel seen.

Q: How has parenting changed between generations in your family?
A: Oh, it’s changed a lot. My mom’s generation didn’t talk about feelings. My generation did the same thing, so punitive actions, let’s not spare the Rod. In all honesty, everything was about discipline and duty. Now, this generation talks about gentle parenting, mental health, and breaking cycles. I’m not saying one was better, but they are trying to be more emotionally present—more human today. And that’s a good shift.

Q: Are there traditions or values you’re passing down?
A: Definitely. We cook together—recipes passed down from my grandmother. I say affirmations every morning, which I started with my kids to help them build confidence early. And no matter how busy life gets, we eat dinner at the table. That’s our anchor.

Q: What do you hope your children remember most about growing up with you?
A: That I loved them deeply and showed up, even on the days I was tired or overwhelmed, that I listened. I apologized when I was wrong. I hope they remember the laughter, bedtime stories, and silly kitchen dances. I hope they remember feeling safe.

Q: What would you say if you could write a letter to your younger self as a mom?
A: It would say: You’re not supposed to have all the answers. You’re allowed to grow alongside your children. You don’t have to do it like your mother did, or how the books say. Just love them. Let them see the real you. That’s enough.

Motherhood isn’t just about the present—it’s about legacy. It’s about healing what came before, honoring what worked, and reimagining what we want to pass on. And sometimes, the bravest thing a mother can do is choose a softer, freer path—so her children can fly higher than she ever did.