Womanhood Is Still In Progress

Becoming a woman did not come with a grand announcement or a defining turning point. It arrived gradually, occasionally silently—like waking one day and realizing your reflection seems a little more grounded, a little more knowledgeable. Womanhood is more about the silent, strong becoming that occurs inside, I have come to see, not simply about gaining curves, sporting bras, or being referred to as “madam” rather than “girl. It’s in the choices I now take for myself, in the manner I safeguard my peace, and in how I have learned to love myself without seeking permission.

It’s how I’ve learned to wipe my tears, how I hold space for pleasure and suffering in the same breath, and how I nonetheless present myself the next morning. This process, however, is untidy. Beautiful but chaotic. Nobody truly tells you that womanhood is not a finish line you cross. It is a lifelong development. On some days, I still yearn for the small girl wanting to be cuddled. On other days, I am astounded by how profoundly I trust my gut reactions. I had to abandon the notion that I have to have everything under control. Being a woman is about learning to live with all your layers—the gentle ones, the scarred ones, the sacred ones—not about perfection. It concerns being open in your heart as well as powerful in your limits. Knowing your worth and refusing to reduce to match someone else’s comfort defines it.

Heartbreaks, betrayal, loss, and the pressure to continuously perform strength, even when I felt like collapsing, have all presented me with terrible truths. Still, I’ve discovered power in vulnerability, in seeking help, in removing the mask and stating, “This is me, unedited. Womanhood for me is a dance between softness and steel. It is growing others while also learning how to nurture myself. It’s being the fierce friend and still looking for strong shoulders to lean on. I appreciate the woman I am still developing into and forgive myself for who I used to be. And indeed, I’m still transforming. I’m not yet finished. I am a woman still learning how to love more, speak softer, and stand taller. I no longer wait to be chosen. Every day, I pick myself, and that makes all the difference. The girl I used to be is holding hands with the lady I am becoming. Walking together, not with confidence but with bravery, they advance. And that is more than sufficient.